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The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

Kansas House passes time-travel bill

Matthew Boose February 20, 2014
Did you hear about the good Christian man who lost his faith? He was a respected and active member of his church community for decades. Then one day, a gay couple walked into his restaurant. He served them coffee. And just like that, in a flash, his faith abandoned him. His soul was extricated. In an instant, he had become a morose, atheist heathen. He got a nice big A tattooed on his left buttock. He started sacrificing goats to honor the memory of Christopher Hitchens. He even started writing snarky diatribes on Facebook.
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