#OnionBagel #OPINION: In order to keep the fear of God in our world leaders, I propose we build a giant space laser to shoot them down if they try to escape Earth without the masses.
#opinion: Whenever a male ejaculates, they can release between 40 million to 1.2 billion sperm. That is 40 million to 1.2 billion potential lives that have been completely snuffed out before they have ever been given a chance at life.
#OnionBagel #OPINION: Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida announced a new public health strategy to combat COVID-19 concerns last Friday. "I will sit on my knees out on street corners for a few hours a day and beg residents to spit into my mouth,” he said.
#OnionBagel #OPINION: It’s that time of year once again: recruitment week. All the fraternities at USA University are looking for students to rush and become members of some of the most prestigious organizations on campus.
#OnionBagel #OPINION The COVID-19 outbreak has killed over 200,000 Americans. But as many plan their Halloween parties, one Florida man expects those numbers to go up. Also, the Grim Reaper sits down with The Statesman to talk about his Halloween plans.
#OnionBagel This week, NASA announced that an asteroid was heading towards Earth. NASA scientists predict a direct impact, but it won’t be large enough to cause significant damage.
Yes, students decorate their dorm room windows using post-it notes and cardboard cutouts. These colorful creations allow students to express their innermost thoughts and desires. These god-forsaken art embodies the ultimate trait of college kids: relentless nihilism.
