The Onion Bagel: We need a giant space laser to shoot rich people who try to leave Earth
#OnionBagel #OPINION: In order to keep the fear of God in our world leaders, I propose we build a giant space laser to shoot them down if they try to…
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#OnionBagel #OPINION: It’s that time of year once again: recruitment week. All the fraternities at USA University are looking for students to rush and become members of some of the…
The Statesman
Informing Stony Brook University For More Than 60 Years
Onion Bagel
The Onion Bagel: Banning abortions isn’t enough, we must also restrict male masturbation
#opinion: Whenever a male ejaculates, they can release between 40 million to 1.2 billion sperm. That is 40 million to 1.2 billion potential lives that have been completely snuffed out…
The Onion Bagel: Ron DeSantis encourages passersby to spit in his mouth to prove COVID-19 isn’t scary
#OnionBagel #OPINION: Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida announced a new public health strategy to combat COVID-19 concerns last Friday. "I will sit on my knees out on street corners for…
The Onion Bagel: COVID fraternities want to recruit you
The Onion Bagel: Death expecting ‘record numbers’ this Halloween
#OnionBagel #OPINION The COVID-19 outbreak has killed over 200,000 Americans. But as many plan their Halloween parties, one Florida man expects those numbers to go up. Also, the Grim Reaper…
The Statesman
Informing Stony Brook University For More Than 60 Years
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