The Onion Bagel is a satirical column for The Statesman.
On April 30, Stony Brook University’s annual spring concert, Brookfest, will welcome performances from Joe Jonas and a bunch of other musicians who can’t spell their band names correctly.
DNCE, the headlining artist for the concert, is most known for its songs “Cake By The Ocean” and “Toothbrush.” But its real popularity comes from being “that band that has the Jonas Brother dude in it.” It’s been a real help to their marketing, but has recently caused some confusion among Stony Brook students.
“Yeah, I don’t know much about anybody except the Joe guy,” said Joe, a senior biology major. “I saw the photo with him in it and was really confused because I thought he was going to be performing with his brothers. I thought this was going to be some Disney Channel showing or something.”
Other students expressed interest in the show despite knowing that Joe Jonas was coming to Stony Brook as part of a band that wasn’t the Jonas Brothers.
“I don’t care what anybody says, if DNCE doesn’t play ‘Love Bug’ I’m suing USG,” said Katie, a sophomore computer science major.
In addition to DNCE, Joey Bada$$ and Alison Wonderland will be performing. The concert will take place outside in the SAC parking lot in hopes of recreating a dirtier, more trashy version of Coachella. Specifically, the Student Activities Board said that by booking more artists for an outdoor venue, the concert would feel more like a music festival.
Students are saying they plan to make it feel like just that.
“I have so much molly ready for this show it’s not even funny,” said Steven, a junior anthropology major. “I probably won’t even be paying attention to the bands, but I know that I’m going to have an awesome time.”